***WARNING*** ***WARNING*** ***WARNING***
Brace yourselves if you dare, this is going to be a long, descriptive and quite possible, abrasive BLOG entry!
Brace yourselves if you dare, this is going to be a long, descriptive and quite possible, abrasive BLOG entry!
Well of late I've been going through more than my fair share of being pulled in 100,000 different positions per nanosecond...literally! And this is usually helping or benefiting everybody but yours truly.
"Surely you jest!?"
No...I'm dead serious, as a matter of fact, in the past while working for a pretty cushy organization, making more than a kid my age should probably be making, I took TIME off, on several occasions, to help out friends in far-less-than-dire need.
"How cool is THAT?"
Not so cool, especially when these 'friends' take those types of actions for granted. Now there is the possibility that everyone one acquainted with me is going to read this blog entry and assume that it is about them, when I'm really only talking about an amount of people that I can count on about two hands and a foot.
"Chuuch"
A rather small figure considering that I have about 8,000+ contacts in my brand new iPhone 3G S..."ess" for sexy as my friend Laura Song says (very shameless plug...what can ya' do?). Sorry for that minor digression, I do that often... yes I know, thank you...sheesh!
Anyways I have this growing habit of helping people out and then getting 'stuck'...like stuck stuck. You know, like out in the middle of I-95 with nothing but socks (and my iPhone) on me...in 36.5 degree weather...and it's raining. This happens way too often, even with my so-called 'loved ones' (what exactly is that anyways?) and I am just seeking help for that. How do I stop? Do you have this problem?
Well it gets worse, because of who and/or what I am (as society has so labelled me, trust that) if I don't help certain people, then I'm looked at as either selfish, typical, a hater, mean, pathetic, juvenile, unsupportive or all of the aforementioned and then some.
"...tell 'em why you mad, son..."
I'm not mad, I am just stating my case. But this is what I mean. Sometimes if you speak; you have said too much, if you are quiet; you ain't saying #hit. *SIGH*
I am almost compelled not to go on...I need some strength. OK, here goes.
I see it happening most to friends that get 'comfortable' with me doing things for them, and they forget the simple things...the SIMPLE things like saying "thank you". I mean am I wrong to ask for just that back?
One person had the nerve to tell me, after doing them a favor in so many words: "...well if you are gonna give help to someone, you shouldn't expect it back..." - hmmm and so to that person I say:
(oh go ahead and click it if you have figured it out)
But yes, I am at a point where I am going to just stop being so "supportive, helpful, insightful and understanding" oh wait...I forgot; I haven't been any of these things according to the few on both hands and my one feet (perhaps) are you with me??! LOL.
How does one who is sooooooooo used to doing for others, and rarely have things get done for them act? One time I was blessed with an undisclosed amount of money because of a motorcycle accident...do you want to know what a 'friend' of mine told me after months went by and we got into an argument:
"...well, I figured you were gonna break me off with some cheddar..."
For my urbanly challenged readers, that don't really mean cheese. But yeah, it was said. I've been approached with the most ridiculous and amazing types of encounters but none more amazing when it comes to money, favors and requests for help!
I even had a situation where I had a live show and a friend offered to get me something to consume afterwards so that I could get some energy back (because if you know me, I expend a lot of energy performing at my shows). So I was delighted, but not expecting them to cover the bill. Which they didn't. So when I asked for the damage, I was give my price with almost 90% inflation 'tax' added on.
"..are you freeking kidding me?..."
I wish I was...hee hee hee, I wish I was. However, this individual even went as far as to argue with me on how I was wrong for being upset about this inflated price tacked onto my food and how they've done this and that and a 3rd and maybe a 4th for me...(which once all added up really only counts for ONE thing), and they felt that was sufficient in light of the incomparable 100 or so things I did for them...but again, that's just me throwing 'salt in their eyes'.....
In summation, I just wanna know where all my real friends at? The ones that don't just hit me up when they need something whether it's money, getting in the club, a place to stay, a place to record, then I don't see, or hear from you for 5 months. It's sad, but it is, as they say, what it is........(I hate that saying)
Oh yeah I'm gonna update this blog more once YOU or your friends start subscribing, because I'm saying how the hell are you going to know when I make another entry, so that you can here the rantings and babblings of myself and my world as told from my mind body and s-s-s-soul!
"WHEW!"
oh and to those I've recently been talking to about the aforementioned topic, it's obviously not about you, because you helped me realize I was not being crazy about thinking that way. It is for you to see how discussion can come into fruition as courageous discussion.
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