Why Successful Black Women Find It So hard to get a black man

Well, honestly I know of a couple of reasons off the bat why Successful Black Women can't find a good man, but I won't get too deep into that.

What I will say (and I may catch some flack for this) is that what SOME Black women interpret as successful on either side of the scope, is not always what the general public would consider successful.

I am talking about all things considered: Education, Career, Financial and Social and even Spiritual status all play a part, but how much is usually what Black women tend to misconstrue.

Growing up (nowadays) the hope is for kids to be taught to love all and not to discriminate. But they also tend to gravitate to what they know and are used to. So I was used to being around black women for the most part. But I stated dating outside my race almost immediately when I was old enough to date (lol)

I will say that my preference has leaned towards me being with a black woman (everyone has preferences so it's not discriminating) But history will show that black women and I just don't work out, and I am almost 90% dating an outside or mixed race/culture.

I realized why... I think it's because honestly there are slim pickings on successful, educated and non-opportunist women out there. So what's a brother to do?

Well that is another topic, I hope this video does some justice... for now lol.

Merry Christmas 2009

Wishing all my loved one's a Merry Christmas...

And my special someone... where are you?

Are you out there? Somewhere....if you are then call me and tell me that you love me.....


LOL

When is it safe to assume...?

NEVER!

Never, ever, ever, ever...ever. Unless you are ready to assume the position.

First of all, let us understand what the word "Assume" means.

According to our good ol' boy(s) and/or girl(s) (...not to assume) at MERRIAM-WEBSTER it defines as:

to take as granted or true : suppose "I assume he'll be there"


Yeah....Well anyways, I was taken aback when someone of importance made assumptions repeatedly, even when I provided in the past, an ample amount of reasoning not to doubt. So what you must do, my dear bloggers, is remove yourself from that situation, until it gets situated...you know what I mean. Why waste your precious time on someone else's fallacy? Below is a video I found showing just a little bit of when it's not safe to assume:

"Back of the Bus" Redhead feat. Bonita Canady

"Back Of the Bus" video (Redhead Feat. Bonita Canady) from craig ferguson on Vimeo.

My boy RedHead, repping DMV and rolling up and down I-95 to NY and other places on occasion, did this awesome track...I just had to Blog about it before I left outta my main office for anticipation of my trip to Miami (whoa wait till I Blog about THAT!)

But any HOO check him out and check out the singer Bonita Canady who's voice I am in love with!!! This is real MUSIC!

REFRESHING! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh (like the type of refreshing you get after a ginger ale on a hot summer day....in Arizona....with no clouds in the sky... AHHHHHHHH!

All's fair, in Love and Modern Warfare...Too

So I have a problem. Don't they say that the first step in curing an addiction is admitting to the problem. Okay so yeah, I have one...well technically 2! Of all my umpteen years on earth, and with every evil I have been exposed to, I have abstained and avoided for the life of me, to steer clear of drugs, alcohol and all major unnecessary evils and have thus prevailed...or yet have I.

About 2 years ago, well wait let me get back even further, about 15 years ago, my parents did the unthinkable, it was bitter sweet at the time...they bought for me a Nintendo Entertainment System, which they regulated thoroughly; my time and usage.

Fast forward; circa 2007, I bought the Playstation 3 arguabley one of the most advanced gaming systems in the world at that time, and several months later I bought the game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.

*Sigh*

Little did I know it was the beginning of a rough ride for me. I played it sporadically over the course of three months, all told for a bout a total of 10 days, 16 hours and 31 minutes as recorded by my playstation.com profile.

11.10.09 signified a date that is probably still cripling me. I went out (at 12:30am) and bought my copy of Modern Warfare 2...after coming from the airport to pick my Good Friend/Brother/DJ/Producer, AJ*Swizzy up. What a re-introduction to the U.S. homie.

He witnessed me play the game for 2hrs before hitting the hay. After that, it was futile to stay away from it. Hours, upon hours of gameplay. on a 62inch 1080p flat screen TV, with Dolby Digital Surround Sound is nothing less than AMAZING!

Relationships got rocky because of this game, if I was with a girl, she'd probably leave me. Everyone that calls me, male, female, family, friend or foe all received an attention deficit from me. I have been less productive with the rest of my projects, not noticeable, but there are small signs. I'm generally motivated to do one thing and one thing only. Play Modern Warfare 2. For some men...it has been a bigger problem with their significant others as seen in the video below, by a woman who actually supports the game:





In essence, this is a phenomenon. It has to be, it's the only way I can explain how I woke up on thanksgiving day, thanked GOD for letting me have this game, and for letting my online connection stay secure and glitch free in order to play it. and then proceed to let the game take precedence over the festivities. I didn't even take a shower till later that evening, after dinner, and only because I was contemplating going out. But that quickly changed, why you ask?

DUHHHHH!

I had to play it some more. It's not just myself, have a few friends like HK and P-eZY who share a similar infatuation, but I don't think it's as deep as mine. On a side note...I have dominated HK's record on this game, but he begs to differ. Sadly.

In conclusion though, I will say one thing...at least whomever I talk to in the future will know exactly what I am doing and who I am doing it with (PAUSE, where applicable)...Tiger Woods should take a hint.

Happy Thanksgiving workout with King Kan and Pops...oh and Killer

Tune in 11/25/2009 for Exclusive Interview with King Kan on Reewine Radio With Trini Gyal

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Have a baby, by me baby...baby, baby, YEAH!

Yeah RIGHT that is! Haha so, I was compelled to write this blog entry, and I'll tell you why!

My younger sister and I were talking on G-chat about a dream she had about me fathering a baby on or around her birthday, of which her next one is not until the 28th of March, 2010. So there are a few things that I told her were amiss. One; I would have to be married first, before I have a child, but even before that, I would need a girlfriend. And I have not had one in a very, very long time.

Now I had been actively with an 'ex' (if you wanna call it that...it's been an intense relationship!)

But anyways I have only been with her, so unless she's 4 or 5 months pregnant (which by the looks of her tummy I highly doubt that) then I shouldn't be expecting any little princess or prince, any time soon.

Now here's the other side of things. I think I am ready for kids, or wait a kid...lol. And I thought I was ready to settle down, but maybe I'm not, maybe my music is priority, and maybe I just need a little companion to unconditionally love me, maybe I wanna be a daddy, maybe I want to be able to take my little one to Chuck E. Cheese's ( I used to work there and I used to be Chucky....yikes) or....maybe I'm nuts one of my boy's said.

Well regardless, right now I'm not looking for kids, or a girl, or a wife or whatever. I'm just letting GOD do HIS thing.

But I won't lie and not say the thought does cross my mind from time to time, because I do like kids and I do what some very soon, before I get too involved with my music, or too old to enjoy them.

I have noticed though, that women in general are a bit scared when a Man is ready at such a young age, to get married and have kids. I say why spend all your life living single and promiscuous or carefree, when you can look for that ONE (if you are into looking) or be open to being found by that one soul mate who'll wake up in the morning and cook eggs, grits and tomatoes with pepper and vinegar, or pecan crusted cat fish with spinach and a baked potato on the side; for the rest of your life?

That's living to me...remember not to lose what you have now if it feels right, cuz when it's gone...it's gone forever!

Dinner, and a movie, and a toothbrush...

So once upon a time, I was at my lovely wifey's crib (for my foreign audience "wifey" in this instance means girlfriend, soul mate without the bling...etc) and somehow a conversation had conjured up about marking territories in our respective places. A major and important step in labeling a relationship. So it turns out, at my crib she had her hair supplies, lovely lotions and even her contact lens solution nicely and neatly tucked away in nooks and crannies of my bathroom. And of course her toothbrush. She also had a few clothing items neatly folded in a special clothes drawer that I had designated for her.

She was upset though, that I hadn't even had a TOOTHBRUSH in her aptartment after two years of commitment (ouch). Was it an oversight on my part, or something that I did intentionally (or even inadvertently?)

No.

As a matter of fact, it had always been in my mind to have a few items here and there to mark my territory, because ladies let it be known...man has always fought over territories since the dawn of existence.

Women on the other hand, seem to have this innate ability to set territories and create boundaries to ward off others with the most serene ease ever know to mankind!

So word to the wise fellas...to keep a seamless relationship...know when to make the appropriate measures to get that toothbrush into ya wifey's bathroom... or else it's going down! Literally!

"Love", "Luv", "Luh", "Lub"...it's all the same thing, right?

ehnn...WRONG!

Now as the holiday season swings steadily into gear, we start seeing the escalation of couples and new romances forming. Whether it stems from forceful blind dates; to one-night-stands from the club turning into seasonal seduction; to logging into your old blackplanet.com account (or migente.com and getting back in touch with that hot "thang thang": it's kind of sort of the 'norm' as they days get colder...and we haven't even switched the clocks back yet! (Thanks George Double-U...we know it was for the kids).

Well anyhow, this is the time when you are going to see a lot of shifts in attitudes of women and men. Social life slows down a bit, love making increases (check the stats) and feelings get made and consequently hurt more frequently......all in the name of the "L" word.

It just depends on exactly which "L" word you are referring to. And here is my brief synopsis of the popular ones:

Love: Now this as defined in good ol' Merriam-Webster's Dictionary is: "Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties" cool...pretty self explanatory, we'll roll with that!

Luv: This is when it starts gettin' tricky. The Urban Dictionary defines this bad boy as: "A casual way of saying you really like someone without freaking them out by saying I love you. Commonly used by people early on in relationships, where it is too soon to say I love you." Just to add to that it is most effectively used during text messages or emails...of course as there is no valid phonetic distinction between the two....okay as Jigga would say "...onto the next one..."

Luh: Okay, so this is usually used in a more playful demeanor whether the individual is genuinely loved or not. For example it could be used after an argument between a couple in love where the male for example ensues an apology (because by nature we are usually wrong);

"...I'm sorry baby...you know I 'Luh' you guuurl. Now come on let's make some more chir-ren..." (all ebonic spellings and erroneous sentence syntax implied)

Lub: This word is usually used by women and is therefore thought of more as a cute way of demeaning the word "Love". Also heavily used in text and/or instant messaging. It is the farthest thing you want to say to a woman in a serious relationship.

Hopefully with the above lessons on the various connotations of that "L" word, the world will be a more amicable place to be in...it all just depends on what level you wanna take it to!

So, in conclusion we should all make "love" not war, and if you're diggin' that chic fellas, and it just so happens to be V-day and a couple of months since you've known her don't hesitate to tell her that you think you "luv" her through a quick text (That's if you wanna take it there...but most of the guys are thinking: 'sheeeeeeeed'). And ladies, same goes for you. When you're dating that man and you just cussed him out and made him feel like 3 week old doo-doo but u realized u were wrong; throw him that text and tell him you "luh" him...do it at your own risk though! And for those that just keep getting stuck with the corny stick...you know your girl/man says that all their friends feel you are corny, and you wanna kinda play with their emotions a bit, especially when it's super early... hit 'em back with I "lub" you and a smile....whatever you do, do it courageously!

on that note..... "GOTTA LOVE LUB them REDSKINS.....HAHAHAHAHA"

Friends, how many of us have them? Let's be FRIENDS (or not)

***WARNING*** ***WARNING*** ***WARNING***

Brace yourselves if you dare, this is going to be a long, descriptive and quite possible, abrasive BLOG entry!

Well of late I've been going through more than my fair share of being pulled in 100,000 different positions per nanosecond...literally! And this is usually helping or benefiting everybody but yours truly.

"Surely you jest!?"

No...I'm dead serious, as a matter of fact, in the past while working for a pretty cushy organization, making more than a kid my age should probably be making, I took TIME off, on several occasions, to help out friends in far-less-than-dire need.

"How cool is THAT?"

Not so cool, especially when these 'friends' take those types of actions for granted. Now there is the possibility that everyone one acquainted with me is going to read this blog entry and assume that it is about them, when I'm really only talking about an amount of people that I can count on about two hands and a foot.

"Chuuch"

A rather small figure considering that I have about 8,000+ contacts in my brand new iPhone 3G S..."ess" for sexy as my friend Laura Song says (very shameless plug...what can ya' do?). Sorry for that minor digression, I do that often... yes I know, thank you...sheesh!

Anyways I have this growing habit of helping people out and then getting 'stuck'...like stuck stuck. You know, like out in the middle of I-95 with nothing but socks (and my iPhone) on me...in 36.5 degree weather...and it's raining. This happens way too often, even with my so-called 'loved ones' (what exactly is that anyways?) and I am just seeking help for that. How do I stop? Do you have this problem?

Well it gets worse, because of who and/or what I am (as society has so labelled me, trust that) if I don't help certain people, then I'm looked at as either selfish, typical, a hater, mean, pathetic, juvenile, unsupportive or all of the aforementioned and then some.

"...tell 'em why you mad, son..."

I'm not mad, I am just stating my case. But this is what I mean. Sometimes if you speak; you have said too much, if you are quiet; you ain't saying #hit. *SIGH*

I am almost compelled not to go on...I need some strength. OK, here goes.

I see it happening most to friends that get 'comfortable' with me doing things for them, and they forget the simple things...the SIMPLE things like saying "thank you". I mean am I wrong to ask for just that back?

One person had the nerve to tell me, after doing them a favor in so many words: "...well if you are gonna give help to someone, you shouldn't expect it back..." - hmmm and so to that person I say:

"Hi, friend......... :) "

(oh go ahead and click it if you have figured it out)

But yes, I am at a point where I am going to just stop being so "supportive, helpful, insightful and understanding" oh wait...I forgot; I haven't been any of these things according to the few on both hands and my one feet (perhaps) are you with me??! LOL.

How does one who is sooooooooo used to doing for others, and rarely have things get done for them act? One time I was blessed with an undisclosed amount of money because of a motorcycle accident...do you want to know what a 'friend' of mine told me after months went by and we got into an argument:

"...well, I figured you were gonna break me off with some cheddar..."

For my urbanly challenged readers, that don't really mean cheese. But yeah, it was said. I've been approached with the most ridiculous and amazing types of encounters but none more amazing when it comes to money, favors and requests for help!

I even had a situation where I had a live show and a friend offered to get me something to consume afterwards so that I could get some energy back (because if you know me, I expend a lot of energy performing at my shows). So I was delighted, but not expecting them to cover the bill. Which they didn't. So when I asked for the damage, I was give my price with almost 90% inflation 'tax' added on.

"..are you freeking kidding me?..."

I wish I was...hee hee hee, I wish I was. However, this individual even went as far as to argue with me on how I was wrong for being upset about this inflated price tacked onto my food and how they've done this and that and a 3rd and maybe a 4th for me...(which once all added up really only counts for ONE thing), and they felt that was sufficient in light of the incomparable 100 or so things I did for them...but again, that's just me throwing 'salt in their eyes'.....

In summation, I just wanna know where all my real friends at? The ones that don't just hit me up when they need something whether it's money, getting in the club, a place to stay, a place to record, then I don't see, or hear from you for 5 months. It's sad, but it is, as they say, what it is........(I hate that saying)

Oh yeah I'm gonna update this blog more once YOU or your friends start subscribing, because I'm saying how the hell are you going to know when I make another entry, so that you can here the rantings and babblings of myself and my world as told from my mind body and s-s-s-soul!

"WHEW!"

Okay cya later oh and follow me here aaaaaaaaand on twitter here: @KingKan

oh and to those I've recently been talking to about the aforementioned topic, it's obviously not about you, because you helped me realize I was not being crazy about thinking that way. It is for you to see how discussion can come into fruition as courageous discussion.

Uyai Ekepnyong, on single life - The 5year plan etc.

So my younger sister, whom I so love (but probably don't show it as often as I should-bad Akan) was IMing me on google chat and we were talking about relationships and how I've handled all of mine, and the pursuit of finding that one. Below is an excerpt of a portion of what she was schooling me on....remember I am the older brother lol.

"...a lot of people don't like being single

but if you're never alone to just think a bit

how would youknow what you really need?

need time to process all your relationships

what went wrong, when did it go wrong, was it me, was it her?

how can I change the scenerios... your normal questions

but you need the breathing time

I bet and know one you have that time alone, next girl you get with will be the one

Also- you have all these folks you party with, how can you possibly be alone??

you got family, friends

and a lot going on in your life

you don't need unecessary drama to add to it

life is tough enough with a chick adding the drama

gotta be on the same page... starting with do y;all have the same values in common?

if you see y'all don't, don't even waste your time

ask a woman what her 5 year plan is - what's yours??

if a man can't answer that I keep it moving

alone is good If you're looking to settle - you hang with the settled people,
learn a few things and get mentally prepared..."

This was unabridged and verbatim. Again I love my sister, she is so smart, but sometimes I hate that she is so smart, because I feel like I should be the one giving her the relationship advice. Oh well. I'm getting a little bit tired of the single life. On some real 'ish' a brother is ready to have kids and settle down with the one.

King Kan & Product Performing Live!!! October 8th

Now I don't like to brag about being the best rapper I know, or having lyrical content and subject matter and a flow unequivocal to any in the DMV area (that would be DC, MD and VA to my international viewers) but this show coming up on October 8th 2009 at the Expo in 1928 9th street from 9-2am, is going to be just as energetic, explosive and eclectic as all shows I do, because you see I only get better and better with time! :) I say this with all humility!

I digress but never-the-less please come out and support me, Product & A-Squad I don't ask for much...just to spread my passion of music so that all can see it and witness for themselves!

Oh yeah it's brought to you in part by my good friends Aliya and Ro with Mindbolic & Bubbleistic Ent.

Who Is King Kan: The Emancipation HitsTape mixed By DJ BLAZE

Ladies & gentlemen, friends family and supporters...It's here, finally after 3 months of careful selection from beats, producers and designers, down to the Artist Drops. This is a product of my blood, sweat and tears, the reason why I LOVE to create music, every song on here represents some part of my Life and everything that I sing about is the truth. Take it literally, learn more about who I am...welcome to my world: WHO IS KING KAN?.....I AM KING KAN!

------------------> WHO IS KING KAN DOWNLOAD LINK <-------------------

(Special thanks to OnTheGoux.com SiobahnPhilemon.com and LizzModel.com All my friends, family, loved ones & supporters. All the DJ’s, Producers, critics & tastemakers. Super Dope Extra Special Thanks to everyone involved in this project from day one, you know who you are....and I love ya'll......CHYEAH!!!)

This mixtape is free but if you would like a free physical signed copy you can send an email and donation of $5.00 to paypayl.com and KingKanmusic@gmail.com for your own copy to cover shipping and duplication costs. Thanks for supporting and preserving real hip-hop

Don't party too much the nite before the wedding

Hahahaha early morning Video Blizzog (courtesy of worldstarhiphop.com)

"Get the Picture?"

 

Good Morning all. I was compelled to write a blog a few moments ago, when I saw the picture above in one of my many photo albums that I have scattered on the desktop of one of my computers, courtesy of my Super SteadyShot DSC-T300...thanks a lot Sony. Basically I have this habit or problem of taking several pictures creating photo albums and not emancipating them for the world to see. Am I enslaving these photographs, or just being undeniably lazy? Either way it has enabled me to write this blog entry today. I am not sure who's gonna read it, nor do I really care at this point, but someday, one day, I'm gonna have a following like no other! Sigh...I just have to get more original material. Imagine that! I'm gonna go mess around on www.twitter.com now....follow me by the way www.twitter.com/kingkan it does a body good! Peace

Mayorga DMV Jam Session...

DJ Soundwave and King Kan, originally uploaded by rrapstarr.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of performing at the DMV Jam Session brought to you by Byrd and LudaJuice. There were a lot of great performance including Empress, Lyriciss and ProVerb, XO, AB the Producer (slash rapper LOL) and a few others.

DJ Maf was holding it down on the one's and two's however my DJ, DJ Soundwave did my mix for my set. I had fun...it was a great crowd...very impressed with the performances...DC when will we SUPER BLOW - Pause....

King 4 a CURE

Okay so I don't know why I haven't even blogged about this yet...well I haven't blogged about a LOT of things that I've been doing so I need to get on with it. But anyways, yeah...here's the thing. I've been fortunate to know a lot of wonderful intelligent and beautiful women and I feel like they are the SUN of mankind because (I know this will ensue an argument) without women, there would be no OFFSPRING...That being said, there is a very critical and unresolved issue plaguing our beautiful women it's called BREAST CANCER. I have lost more than enough people that I loved towards this terrible disease and I have taken up arms to fight for a cure against the disease I am asking each and everyone to take just 5 minutes of your time to PLEASE donate to the cause, I am trying to raise $2,009 individually and my team is raising over $20,000 collectively. I know times are hard but please spare what you can, you will be helping to the increasing ray of light that helps towards the fight against cancer and the cure for it. Here is a link to my site:

www.avonwalk.org/goto/king4acure
Please donate and spread the word. AND A BIG HUGE THANK YOU GOES TO ALL THOSE THAT HAVE DONATED THUS FAR

Real Quick Shameful Post.

I am ashamed of my sorry a** blog that I cannot even keep up. I just came back from Miami and my good friend Ms. Rene told me that I was a lazy imp (or something to that effect) because instead of keeping up with my blog all I do is post 140 character's or less on Twitter and consider THAT a blog. How pathetic of me huh? I won't say anymore. I'll just show and prove! Oh and Happy St. Patrick's day!

Hustle or be Hustled...My Quantum of Solace

So here is a little background...I was born in Nigeria to an American mom & Nigerian dad, moved back and forth from there to the U.S. almost every Year...spent the bulk of my time in Buffalo, NY and then later on moved to Maryland from Nigeria for good in the summer of 1994. Okay great. Let's Fast forward to the hip hop sh**.

I got into a really bad accident on my Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle on August, 2nd 2003 couldn't walk anymore and was ordered by docs to stay off of work and in therapy for 6 months...so I rediscovered my love for hip hop. I was always behind the scenes of another artist, but this time I was writing so much, and the TV stayed stuck onto MTV Jams on the flat screen, that I had no other choice but to get jiggy wit it!

So anyway, a potentially-long-story-short; I could walk again (YAY! But I missed the cane, not the walker) and I recorded heavy. BUT I was still supporting/pushing other artists along with me Tai Slumz, D. White, DJ Doc Rok, ReAce, YoungFlo, Summer Cipriano and many many many more all along the years they came and went for some reason or the other...most of whom I'm still friends with, 1 or 2 we had major beef, and many more still just fell off of the face of the earth....thus being epitome of "a waste of my complete time"






So what does this all mean? Well I have a weakness, I like to help people (I think this came from my Nigerian side of me)...but there comes a point, or limit where you gotta cut your boys off and take care of YOU...especially when they don't want to be serious or sign a committment or agreement between you and them for business' sake. Or if they rather invest $600.00 in a weekend on bottles and weed, instead of $600.00 a month for studio time and CD duplications etc.






So along comes my conjecture, not a fact, that in the DMV area we have a high percentage of non-serious minded individuals that embark on a dream and jump blindly into situations with no hesitation nor convictions about what their future may hold. In turn, not taking into consideration those that may have helped them along the way. Now this is all my opinion, and food for thought. But if you've walked where I've walked, and seen what I've seen. Then you'd understand where I am coming from. And by no means am I in anyway discounting everyone. There are many individuals in some camps that go above and beyond their dreams and aspirations with their mere drive, determination and Hustle like the Wale's and Tabi Bonneys, this is why they are doing shows and getting endorsements from everywhere. It is sad that I had Ed Hardy and Stall&Dean (Shout out to Rikers in N.Y.C) sponsor me as I wore their clothing in the video below, before a local clothing company in the D.M.V. would even respond back (I had to almost BEG Schmack to endorse me and I wasn't even asking for Free Clothing)

It get's worse when you reach out to your fellow artists, blogs, and other hip hop outlets and they don't reciprocate the love. I know it ain't the music, because there is so much sub-par garbage piling up, that sometimes these same people put it out there for the public to see it. Such an eye-sore!

So to re-iterate my intent on this blog...fellow artists, I can relate when the successful one's get 'hated on' even though they have tried to reach out and help with other artists. When it comes down to it, in regards to oneself and at the end of the day you've gotta HUSTLE OR BE HUSTLED!

King Kan ---> Just an opinion and topic for debate, collaborative elaboration and rebuttle.

DJ AJ*Swizzy taking over the mixtape game in DMV

So our official A-SQUAD DJ; the illustrious J*Swizzy ya'll, is compiling a series of mixtapes to render the 1st Quarter his.

Never before has the DMV seen a Mixtape DJ take the area by storm with upcoming projects of such magnitude including:

DMV's Finest Vol.1
She Runs DMV Vol.1
A-SQUAD RADIO Vol. 1
Pre-Season Mixtape (Goonz Squad)

Make sure you send all tracks to jayson.arcenio@gmail.com

They must be MIXED and in MP3 format only!!! And of course, your best work.


Official Deadlines to be posted soon